Finland - Attack of the VLBs

Ginge Fullen

There has been an amazing change that has taken place in just the two weeks since I was last up here. Last time when I stayed in the cabins up here it was so cold I had to have the radiator on and leave the hot plate on and put a blanket at the bottom of the door to stop the draft, now it is so hot even at night that I have left the fridge door open in the hope that it will cool the cabin down. I had another restless night as the mosquitoes seemed to have an ability to come through the walls in a search for my blood. After killing what seemed like a thousand I upped my ratio of them to 10,000 mosquitoes per man and I must have cursed every one of them. I will now refer to them as VLB which stands for 'vicious little bastards', a very appropriate name if you should ever come across them.

I braved another hour in the morning trying to hitch but as before people just will not stop. I waited in the safety of a cafe until midday for the bus. The bus got into Kilipsjarva at 1600 hours and after leaving some things at the hotel there I was soon on my way to the first hut. I met a Norwegian guy who had just come down from Halti, he said that there was still some snow on the summit but the route was otherwise OK. He was half way through an 800 km walk through Scandinavia, good luck to him.

The path should have been easy to follow and it was even well marked with wooden stakes that were painted yellow but with the frenzied attack of the VLB I somehow lost the path and even the valley. This was an excuse and I will use it. I had planned to go slow but with a cloud of VLB in tow I had my head down and was going nearly flat out. The map was used more to wave them away and to swot them than to navigate, I could not believe that in just two weeks they had grown to full size with the instinct to cause human beings a living hell.

I backtracked a little until I came across the man and his dog that I had passed earlier, he was going to the same hut as me but because he had his dog with him he was avoiding going into Norway. The path crosses into Norway for a couple of kilometres not that you could tell though, so because of the threat of rabies dogs and cats are not allowed across the border. This seemed rather a difficult rule to apply given the size and openness of the border. Anyway he pointed out a hill on the map which he was going around and so staying totally within Finland, I went the other side of the hill into Norway and rejoined the path arriving at the hut in three hours.

At some stages there was so many VLB that I was flapping both arms around and shouting at the top of my voice "get away, get away" but that just seemed to attract more of them. I am sure I would go mad if they carried on so relentlessly, I do not normally harp on or complain so much but until I am out of Lapland I will keep on mentioning these VLB. Whatever you do if you travel up here is do not underestimate these VLB ability to totally piss you off and ruin your trip. Other factors aside I would not travel up here again in the summer, in any case not until the blood the bastards have sucked out of me has been replaced.

I stayed a good half an hour at the hut, long enough to get some drink and hot food down me, the next leg was 9 km away about two or three hours. The whole trip was easy walking but I was getting so stressed out by the VLB that I did not enjoy the walk at all. After the one thousandth VLB has gone in your ear you tend to get a little agitated and it is enough to drive you crazy. I arrived two hours later at the second hut just as two lads were arriving from the direction of Halti. They had two big dogs with them each with a harness strapped to their back and carrying a load. They explained each of them could carry their food for the trip plus other items around 30 pounds weight or so, it made me think of getting a dog.

In all my travels I have not come across any better huts than in Finland, there is always a room open and in nearly every one a gas stove and basic amenities. It was very warm in the hut and a two season sleeping bag was adequate and even would have been if I was outside, I was glad that I had brought my bivvy bag as I could zip it up all the way and still just about breathe and very importantly have an uninterrupted night sleep without fear of attack from the VLB.

I slept late, not because I was tired but because there was no VLB inside my bivvy bag. I was away by 0930 hours after being supplied with coffee from the two lads, I had only brought a jar of Q tea powder and the coffee was most welcome. The next leg was 11 kilometres across open plain moor land, again I lost the path and had to navigate back onto it. In places here the track is hard to see but generally it is very well marked, I just lost concentration. I met a few people along the way and there were probably only 20 people along the whole route at the time. Some said the worst place for the VLB was between huts three and four, how could it get any worse?

I had planned to stay at hut three which I reached at 11.30 am but as there was some cloud cover and a little breeze which kept the VLB away I took advantage and headed straight on. The going was a little harder now as this leg you began to gain some height and the going under foot was difficult. You pass numerous streams and rivers and with few bridges it normally means wet feet and that's why most of the locals wear Wellington boots. It also took me a while to figure out why most of them have on their Gore-Tex tops and bottoms even though it is not raining and is even pretty hot, it's because the VLB cannot bite through them. I put my leggings on and saved myself from further pain, I also pulled the sleeves of my shirt down over my hands so it was only my face to worry about and that has always been a worry anyway. I could not even have a piss in peace without one of the bastards taking a bite out of my dick. I arrived at the hut at 1500 hours, which was situated in very nice surroundings by a lake. Two groups were just coming down from Halti after taking six hours for the round trip. I planned to go up tomorrow along with a large group that was already at the hut. I do feel a little guilty now that I am on sick leave and trekking around so much but it is not going to stop me making the most of it.

Saturday 6 July 1996: Another fitful night, this time it was due to someone snoring next to me. It would have broken records it was so loud. I even contemplated bivvying outside but when I looked out the window and saw swarms of VLB waiting for me I stayed put. I did not fancy my chances on how quickly I could get into my sleeping bag and bivvy bag and all zipped up, at least not without getting a whole fighting battalion of them in there with me.

I set off a little after 0900 hours with Halti in sight all the way over 9 km in the distance, which made it in some ways a bit tougher mentally although I probably would have complained if there had been several false summits instead. The route heads directly north and is well marked on this leg, even I did not get lost today. The route crosses numerous streams and patches of snow and wet feet are the order of the day again. There was a little breeze as there looked to be bad weather on the way and also as we were gaining height it was getting colder so I was spared the old enemy for most of the day.

I passed the group of people who had just set off from their campsite after an hour. As I got near the top there was snow all the way, it was quite compact so the going was even quicker then before. After two and a half hours I reached the top, it was not one of the best mountain trips that I had been on but I was just happy to have reached this god-forsaken corner of Europe. The top is a fairly large plateau area with several cairns and other markings, maybe markings for the border. The top of Finland is marked by a wooden cross bearing its name and a box with a soaked book in it for you to sign. They also have the number of people who have been up there, I was number 50,564, over the years I would not have thought so many crazy people would want to come here or even find the damn place.

I walked around the other cairns as they looked to be higher but as we were on the border I did not bother to go too far. I could see nearly all the way back to where I started on the first day which made me think how many VLB there were between me and Kilipsjarva. I started back at 1200 hours, after only 100 metres I saw the group making there way up toward me. I waited for what seemed an age until the first one arrived, I asked him to take a photo of me where I was, I could not be bothered to go back up for a proper summit shot with myself in it. I got back in a total of five hours and was already planning on where to go next. Thoughts centred on where there would be no VLB, Antarctica and even the moon came to mind even the Mosquito coast was a thought as surely they all must be f***ing here.

The same day I travelled back down to the next hut so as tomorrow I would have only 20 km walk or so to the first hut, I planned to spend the night there and then walk down and get a bus to Kiruna in the afternoon. I was in no desperate hurry, I had left some food at the first hut for a day or two but I was desperate to get away from the VLB and if I had felt stronger and back totally fit I would have walked day and night to escape.

The VLB were relentless last night, they seemed to know I was leaving never to return. I am sure that some of them have followed me all the way. They were so great in numbers that every stride I took I had to wave my arms around cutting a path in front of me. I had to control myself so as not to panic and go racing off and jump into a lake or over a cliff. I travelled down to Stockholm the next day and with a few days to spare I took a ferry over to the Aland Islands an autonomous group of islands that were on my second list. I had such a bad experience of the VLB that even months later the horror of them remains firmly etched in my mind. Ignore my warning of them at your peril.